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It felt like a slap in the face and I smarted from her words but they stuck in my head for a very long time and in the end, I came to recognise the significance and truth of her words once my pride had settled down.It’s true – I used to live like my only option was whatever guy I was seeing at the time and it was more important to be in a relationship and pursue this feeling of love and validation that I was looking for, than it was to be in a quality relationship.When I became ill with the immune system sarcoidosis in 2003, I was so distracted by the ‘guy with a girlfriend’ that even though I should have been focusing on my health, I was more interested on focusing on him as my only option! This is how I ended up in a number of half hearted relationships and yawning my way through many dates.It was only when I ditched him that it occurred to me to start fighting for my survival and opening up my options. I don’t think I’ve admitted this before, but the last chunk of my relationship with the guy with a girlfriend, I think I wanted to win more than I wanted him.When you start working through the beliefs in your head, you’ll see how much your own internal angst is limiting you.The pain you’re causing yourself – there’s another, far less painful route if only you’d start considering your options.

When they weren’t leaving, I started acting up, and then I could convince myself they’d leave anyway.And while it’s fair to say that these men (and women) who at best take advantage and at its worst abuse us are at fault, what we have to realise is that as we are 100% responsible for ourselves, we have our part in in it too.Every day I read stories in my email, read the comments, Facebook, and even general stories via my friends, acquaintances, and of course the media, and I feel deeply saddened that there are many women who are like how I have been, believing they have no options, or their option is someone who treats them ‘less than’.In the past, my friends and family have been more than a little bewildered by some of the guys I’ve dated and looking back with the benefit of hindsight which gives wonderful vision, I can see that I was seriously selling myself short. I didn’t even him anymore and had lost respect for him.The intensity was fading and the memories of the repeated let downs and hurts were prominent in my mind.

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